I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize