we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
