"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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