what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
