your thong is hanging out like whoa
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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