First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
