remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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