Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
