he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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