This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Enjoy the penises
Never joke about your clitoris.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
