I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
