Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize