just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
