Do you still have your period?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize