I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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