Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
