I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
