it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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