When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
