my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
