honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
