Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
