things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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