i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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