one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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