I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
