at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
