If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He did a backflip because drugs
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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