Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
