You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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