Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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