Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize