Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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