They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize