I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
