I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
pray to the hookup gods
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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