This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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