I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
