I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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