it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
