this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
