my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
