I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
