STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
