I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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