I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's shark week go big or go home
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
