Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's rum buckets o'clock
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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