You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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