I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
