strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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