dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just invented taco cereal.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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