Are we in a gay sports bar?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
