Ambien. No doubt about it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
