thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
