the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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