If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
