Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
