I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
