i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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