I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
