Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
