once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
